Restaurant Review

Yesterday was a day from hell, or at least most of it was. There was a bright shining moment of hilarity that I just felt I had to share.

Have you ever wanted to critique a restaurant? Perhaps be a judge of the fine cuisine, dining atmosphere? I think I'm going to take a stab at it now and delight you with tales from the inbred side. LOL!

Sweetie & my day had not gone smoothly, we were supposed to do some relatively minor stops to gather necessary items for my birthday dinner I plan to make myself but alas, the day went into the crapper. By 2pm, we were hungry, exhausted and grumpy. Seeing as we were already in Pleasant Hill, and there being only one place in this town that provides sustenance, we went to Pam's. Now for those that don't know what Pam's is... allow me to enlighten you.

Pam's is a small little building that resembles the delightful double wides often seen in trailer parks. You enter and seats, bar stools, etc are crammed into a tight and cramped space. They allegedly have very good food, which I was hungry enough to give them a try. The walls and floors were grubby, the wait staff appeared to be extras from the Addicted show on TLC (perhaps meth?), the cook looked rough around the edges and I thought for sure the owner was Sasquatch at first, until she turned around and I was graced with a view of four sets of breasts, front and back, and a wonderful moustache. Not exactly a locale that inspires visions of culinary delight.

We place our order and wait. I was pleasantly surprised that our food was fast coming, and very tasty. As we start to see the bottoms of our plates, a young lady walks... nay stomps, in the front door and clomps her way to the Formica bar, flouncing onto a bar stool all the while appearing to have either a corn cob or a burr up her posterior end. She sneers and glares at the older man to her right, and the old woman to her left two bar stools down. The old man nicely asks her "Please scoot down, I don't want you to sit by me, I don't want trouble" to which if looks could kill, I do believe this old man would have died from a million arrows hurtling his way. The old lady pipes up "her mother is on her way in and will sit here" and the old man replies "I just don't want her to sit by me, I don't want trouble."

This is where it gets interesting! Young lady jumps off her bar stool, slings her massive purse onto her shoulder (I truly believe it's full of shoplifted items from the gas station down the road hehehe) and yells "I don't have to take this shit, forget the drink so-and-so" and proceeds to slam open the front door and stomp to her mothers car. Her mother, meanwhile, is already at the door and attempting to squeeze her rather rotund figure through the door. She yells after her daughter "What's the problem? What happened?" and then creates a small earthquake as she thunders towards the old man, yelling at him about how it's a free country.. her daughter can sit where she wants you stupid old man, etc etc.

This engaging scene continues for approximately two minutes, all the while Sweetie buries his face in his plate and shovels mouthfuls of food into his mouth, and I merely sit and enjoy the episode of Inbred Theater. Finally I can take no more and start to laugh, not just chuckles but large and loud belly laughter. The rotund mama glares at me, the patrons and staff look at me in shock and yet all I can do is roll with laughter. This situation went from a quiet lunch to dinner and a show. I felt I should give the performers some sign of how I viewed their performance! Madam Rotund stomps out of the building as we all hold onto our tables lest we be thrown to the ground from the aftershocks. I continue to laugh and remark as to how I've never seen anything like this up around Chicago. Of course I get my digs in about how "is this how the hillbilly population amuses themselves?" and "oh lawd that was absolutely hilarious!". We get up and I state how I think it's time to go before the sequel begins, thank the waitress for the dinner and movie, make a few more snotty comments about the performance and we leave.

All in all, this shining moment in Inbred history truly brightened my day.