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DJ Rachel's World of Music

And this is the site to my DJ blog... yes I still DJ, just not as hard core as I used to lol.  One day.. one day.  For now I just DJ on the side and continue to do some online work.  Being a DJ is the best job in the world!

The Good and Bad of Divorce

Usually I don't like to discuss such a sticky topic, but recent events prompted me to put in my two cents. As everyone knows, I've been divorced three times. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but it is what it is. I feel that my experiences with my own divorces somehow allows me the right to comment on what I see going on around me. In no way am I qualified to tell others what to do... but I do believe we can learn from each other's mistakes for the betterment of those around us and for ourselves. That being said, this is my take.

Let me lay a little ground work for just a moment. My last ex and I get along fairly well for our son's sake. We don't always agree on certain topics, but on things of utmost importance, we do all we can to compromise and do whatever is best for our child. I know this isn't always possible in every divorce, and because of that.. I am very grateful that he and I can act like adults. One golden rule that we never break, and doubtfully ever will, is that we don't use our child as a pawn. We don't use him against each other, we don't poison his mind against either parent or household, and we sure as hell don't try to buy our child's love. There was a time, briefly, that the father mistakenly thought that by taking our son out to McDonald's every night, buying him everything his little heart desired, and spoiling him at every chance, he is showing love. This is not love, it's manipulation, buying a child's love, and in my opinion.. this is child abuse! What lesson does one teach a child by acting in such a manner? You are only teaching this child to be a spoiled, self-centered pain in the ass that has behavior problems and be socially defunct. Luckily we were able to discuss these problems and dad is now much more aware of how our son reacts to such overindulgence and together we came up with a plan of action that best suits our child's needs.

Now let's turn the focus on another family I'm seeing having the same problems. This is a family that is very close to my own and that I have regular contact with. We shall call this family the Paul Blart family (yes like the guy in Mall Cop). This particular family is also suffering through a divorce and not always sailing calm seas. There are hurt feelings, as there always are with divorce, children who feel forced to chose sides, and manipulation going on. This family has a dad who also feels it necessary to "buy" his children's love and seems to think manipulation is perfectly acceptable. Sad really, when you stop and think about it. Of course, perhaps he can't help himself. He has family members that in the past he has called backstabbers and liars, and a parent who manipulates with the best of them ands thinks their family is better than anyone else in the world; and many who grow up in such an environment, find this type of behavior "normal".

It's quite tragic really, because this same person who is raised in such a toxic environment often overcomes this type of upbringing, but can backslide due to a drastic change in their life, for example a divorce. This person not only backslides from an upstanding citizen that has a healthy relationship with their children, their peers and their community; but reverts back to a toxic lifestyle that injures those he loves most. This is the type of person who "runs wild" and is no longer dependable, trustworthy, or a close friend that they once were. Now I'm not saying they can't have fun, find love, etc. But one must realize, when they are a parent.. that the children come first, especially if you have little ones who have not yet flown the coop. It's a hard pill to swallow, but loving your child means you must sacrifice for them. Yes, this person has done it all... treated the ex-wife as though she is a piece of shit, alienated his older children, and manipulating his younger child to view material things as love instead of quality time together. Now I personally wish I could shake some sense into this person, there was a time I loved and respected this person as I would someone in my own family.. but I have lost all respect I have for him.

Don't dare complain about how my exes have treated me when you are doing the same things to your own. This is hypocrisy at it's best, and it makes me sick. It's ok to dump all your bills and issues on your ex, but lord have mercy if someone does the same thing to your son or his wife, right? It's ok to treat your ex like shit, but lord have mercy if it happens to your family and their spouses, right? It's ok to whine about how you're broke, yet you can buy a brand new car, go out to eat constantly, shop like it's going out of style, etc, etc. It's ok to buy your children's love with new phones, new toys, new stuff and junk and then turn the same child on their other parent, and have the audacity to plant a seed in your child's head that the other parent doesn't love them because of a b/f or g/f's children? What a crock of shit!! Especially when the biological children are spoiled rotten and get preferential treatment. Guess we all can't have everything like some do.

Yes, I know this will royally piss some folks off and quite frankly I don't care anymore. I've been hated by better and treated worse by better.

Bad News Days and the Resulting Hilarity

Yes, today was a bad news day. Don't get me wrong, it didn't start that way though. Actually it started great, I didn't wake up with the tummy ache I went to bed with, the kids weren't attempting World War 2,152,1021.1 and I got some housework done. That said, it was a good day!

Then.............
Matt goes to work at 4:30, gets sent home. We're fired! Seems that we missed a "mandatory meeting". Um... well I didn't realize it was this week.. I had wrote it down from the sign as next week, obviously a simple human error and not that we intended to blow it off. For the record, we've never missed a meeting yet! Also for the record, there are many of our former co-workers that do not attend them, and the common phrase heard round the world to them? "Oh don't worry bout it, we'll work you in some other time" etc, etc. But we saw this coming, obviously.

So now, after the momentary panic and hyperventilating, I'm doing better. I have many things I can count my blessings on and even though I've been job hunting for months now with no luck, I'm certain things will pan out soon! Just gotta keep my head up and my faith strong. I have to say, probably my favorite thing that came out of the mighty King was "Spread the word" meaning for Matt to tell me I was fired. LMAO!!!

I'm sorry, but seriously? You're not man enough to fire me yourself? Hahahahahaha!!!! If only the rest of the town could see and experience the King that those of us he's shat on have seen. But we all know how it is, you kiss enough ass in this world and while those you've kissed think you smell like roses, the rest of us normal people can smell the shit on your breath! I just have to console myself with allowing Karma to do her job. What you dish out will eventually come back on you tenfold.. enjoy!! Bon appetite!!

Tales from the Screwed up Side

I know there are a lot of folks wondering what's going on, why I have posted the things I have on FB and why I deleted so many from my friends list. There is a method to my madness.

I had to delete everyone from my FB friends that I work with, with the exception of 2 folks because everything I say and do has been misinterpreted by my bosses, which is bogus crap. I don't know who I can trust at work anymore, as so many are ass-kissing backstabbers. This shouldn't surprise me considering it's Pike County after all, and no one has anything better to do.

In a nutshell, I have been yelled at and ambushed by the bigwigs. Accused of bogus shit. Allegedly I'm making out with my fiance, being a shitty manager, everyone supposedly complains about me and my work performance.. etc, etc. So they decided to cut my hours to the point I can't pay my bills and put food on the table.

Isn't it enough that most of the folks at work are on food stamps? I mean, god-forbid we get paid a living wage, get raises, or Gasp! full time. But don't bother complaining, not even to corporate cause they just don't care. So many complaints in, so few being taken seriously.

I've worked retail most of my life, I love it. I've had good bosses, I've had shitty ones... but here lately, what I've been dealt with really takes the cake. I can honestly say what I'm dealing with is totally new to me and completely shocking. The stories I've heard from the veterans of that store are absolutely appalling! I can't imagine why people are allowed to treat employees the way they do, and why no one has the guts to file complaints and grievances! I used to love my bosses, my job, and had begun to think about seriously staying in the area... but not now. I was snowballed, plain and simple.

Ever Feel Like Giving Up?

Title says it all, eh?

It's my birthday.
It's been a week from hell.
Thought today would be better....
but it went to hell in a handbasket fast.

I'm sorry I'm not good enough,
I'm sorry you feel I don't do a good enough job.
I'm sorry I love my children
I'm sorry my feelings, emotions, and questions are too much for you.

I guess I want too much out of life,
I want
to work
to play
to enjoy my kids
to enjoy my family
to never be homeless again

Yet...
it's too much to ask
Don't worry about me
I'll make it somehow

Attack me if you must,
Yell, scream, accuse
All while I stay calm and try to explain myself...
...my words
....my thoughts
.... my questions

I don't expect you to care
I'm not one of "them"
And I never want to be
I just want to care for my loved ones without judgement
To be treated as an equal...

But again, I ask too much and for that...
I apologize
I recant
I absolve you of your guilt in this matter

I take all blame,
all responsibility..
...For I am human, I make mistakes, even I

I'm sorry I don't fit your mold..
Your expectations...
Your desires...
Your hopes...

I wish thee the best...
..
...

Restaurant Review

Yesterday was a day from hell, or at least most of it was. There was a bright shining moment of hilarity that I just felt I had to share.

Have you ever wanted to critique a restaurant? Perhaps be a judge of the fine cuisine, dining atmosphere? I think I'm going to take a stab at it now and delight you with tales from the inbred side. LOL!

Sweetie & my day had not gone smoothly, we were supposed to do some relatively minor stops to gather necessary items for my birthday dinner I plan to make myself but alas, the day went into the crapper. By 2pm, we were hungry, exhausted and grumpy. Seeing as we were already in Pleasant Hill, and there being only one place in this town that provides sustenance, we went to Pam's. Now for those that don't know what Pam's is... allow me to enlighten you.

Pam's is a small little building that resembles the delightful double wides often seen in trailer parks. You enter and seats, bar stools, etc are crammed into a tight and cramped space. They allegedly have very good food, which I was hungry enough to give them a try. The walls and floors were grubby, the wait staff appeared to be extras from the Addicted show on TLC (perhaps meth?), the cook looked rough around the edges and I thought for sure the owner was Sasquatch at first, until she turned around and I was graced with a view of four sets of breasts, front and back, and a wonderful moustache. Not exactly a locale that inspires visions of culinary delight.

We place our order and wait. I was pleasantly surprised that our food was fast coming, and very tasty. As we start to see the bottoms of our plates, a young lady walks... nay stomps, in the front door and clomps her way to the Formica bar, flouncing onto a bar stool all the while appearing to have either a corn cob or a burr up her posterior end. She sneers and glares at the older man to her right, and the old woman to her left two bar stools down. The old man nicely asks her "Please scoot down, I don't want you to sit by me, I don't want trouble" to which if looks could kill, I do believe this old man would have died from a million arrows hurtling his way. The old lady pipes up "her mother is on her way in and will sit here" and the old man replies "I just don't want her to sit by me, I don't want trouble."

This is where it gets interesting! Young lady jumps off her bar stool, slings her massive purse onto her shoulder (I truly believe it's full of shoplifted items from the gas station down the road hehehe) and yells "I don't have to take this shit, forget the drink so-and-so" and proceeds to slam open the front door and stomp to her mothers car. Her mother, meanwhile, is already at the door and attempting to squeeze her rather rotund figure through the door. She yells after her daughter "What's the problem? What happened?" and then creates a small earthquake as she thunders towards the old man, yelling at him about how it's a free country.. her daughter can sit where she wants you stupid old man, etc etc.

This engaging scene continues for approximately two minutes, all the while Sweetie buries his face in his plate and shovels mouthfuls of food into his mouth, and I merely sit and enjoy the episode of Inbred Theater. Finally I can take no more and start to laugh, not just chuckles but large and loud belly laughter. The rotund mama glares at me, the patrons and staff look at me in shock and yet all I can do is roll with laughter. This situation went from a quiet lunch to dinner and a show. I felt I should give the performers some sign of how I viewed their performance! Madam Rotund stomps out of the building as we all hold onto our tables lest we be thrown to the ground from the aftershocks. I continue to laugh and remark as to how I've never seen anything like this up around Chicago. Of course I get my digs in about how "is this how the hillbilly population amuses themselves?" and "oh lawd that was absolutely hilarious!". We get up and I state how I think it's time to go before the sequel begins, thank the waitress for the dinner and movie, make a few more snotty comments about the performance and we leave.

All in all, this shining moment in Inbred history truly brightened my day.

The B.S. of Illinois Child Support Enforcement Agency

Ok, for those of you who don't know... my ex-husband (Brian Phillips) hasn't paid court-ordered child support for nearly 6 years now. He works at the Purple Martin Inn in Griggsville, IL as a cook but apparently they are paying him cash under the table. How do I know he works there? Many of my co-workers eat there and see him cooking all the time.... his picture was in the paper as their cook, etc. So I contacted the Child Support Enforcement Agency here in wonderful (gag) Illinois and wanted answers. I emailed them FEBRUARY 25, 2010 and they are just now getting back to me today. Good lord!!! Here's what they said... read and gag along with me class. *sigh*

"Our records indicate staff who handle non-compliance issues have been in
contact with Mr. Phillips' employer.  However, no payments have been
received for your case.  Staff sent an Income Withholding Notice (IWN)
certified restricted and the certification was returned signed by the
employer.  Non-compliance staff will determine the appropriate action to
be taken on your case.

Our records indicate your private attorney obtained a body attachment
against Mr. Phillips.  You may wish to contact the sheriff in the county
where he resides regarding the body attachment. 

As criterion is met, the non-custodial parent is automatically submitted
for every enforcement remedy available to us to collect the past due
support.  These include the State and Federal Refund Offset Program,
Financial Institution Data Matches (FIDM), running tape matches with the
Credit Bureau, Department of Employment Security, Internal Revenue
Service, Secretary of State, Social Security Administration, suspension
of Illinois professional licenses and driver's license, placing liens on
real and personal property; collaborating with private collection
agencies; and reporting the debt to credit reporting agencies. 

Until monies are received from our collection remedies, we cannot tell
you if or when monies will be collected through our enforcement tools.

The employer you provided has not provided any wage information to the
Illinois Department of Employment Security (IDES).  If Mr. Phillips is
working for cash, enforcement becomes more difficult as there is no
paper trail to follow as there is with wages.

I understand how difficult it is to raise children without the benefit
of child support payments.  We will continue to utilize all available
collection remedies to collect the support owed to you.

You may contact our Child Support Customer Service Call Center at
1-800-447-4278 to obtain a status of the actions being taken on your
case.  When the call center is experiencing a high volume of calls, you
will be directed to call back at a later time.

Thank you.

Customer Service Unit / kga
Division of Child Support Enforcement
Healthcare and Family Services"

Lovely ain't it? We live in a state that doesn't give a rats ass about
custodial parent's rights!!!!!!!! 

To add insult to injury, Pike County Sheriff's Department claims they
are too busy to arrest him since they'd have to transport him back
to Livingston County, plus "ma'am, this is a civil case and we don't
get involved in civil cases, contact your attorney"  WHAT?!?!